So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
