Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
