i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
