HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
