so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
