his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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