hell yes lets make some ravioli
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
