I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
