so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
