So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
