on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
