and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize