Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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