I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize