How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
