My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
