just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
