is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
