I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
