just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize