i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
