Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
