So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
