We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
