Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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