elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize