it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
