so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
