I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize