i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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