I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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