Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
