Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
