the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
