Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
