Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize