If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
