THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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