There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
