they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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