Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
