You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I need a burrito and a hug.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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