Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
