if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
