hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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