My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
