I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
