all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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