So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
