i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This house was built for laser tag.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I could fuck to npr.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
