i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
