There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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