Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
