dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize