tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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