I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
