You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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