im six kinds of drunk right now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
