Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
